The Dumb Matrix

"Polka dots stayed on."

What Did Scientists Find?

They should probably stop looking!

New 60 Minutes Boss Only Lasts 15 Minutes

Give him the business, Scotty.

Who Is Nick Bilton?

Edward Bulwer-Lytton just sent me a telegram from hell that says: “WOW THIS GUY SUCKS AT WRITING STOP.”

The Kind of Newsletter That Made Benches Become Men

My spoon is too big.

Where Is Everybody

It's Whiskey Doupil with Friny Tokoday

It's Lamer Than You Think

But what about: ✅ OLEICAT?

Dopefish

Ploopy has launched the bean.

Goblin Problem

No theme, just vibes.

Ballroom Twits

CELEBRATING THE FIRST AMENDMENT

5.6 Million Bees

Laufey presents the custom electric Miles Davis centennial Lexus.

Everything Is Hacked Now

Trapped on a Zoom call with fake co-workers when we could just be making donuts.

The Future of Football Starts Today

Nine years can be a lifetime.

Who Goes AI?

Aham for the Mild-Built

Also: scientists put 792 ants in a particle accelerator. Should we be worried?

Dick Hebdige Explained Dinergoth in 1979

This week in last week.

Sokath, His Eyes Uncovered

Does any of this matter at all? No!

Purity Supreme

Back with another one of those hump-plumping injectables.

They Don't Care

You're either with us or you're against us.

The Lowbrow Harper's

Welcome to my Ellie Award-nominated magazine.

A.I. Isn't People

How many Reddit posts does it take to learn to read?

The Assassination of The Washington Post by the Coward Jeff Bezos

New crotch-related ski jumping scandal dropped.

Masks Off

"Goid dea."

Welcome to the Resistance, Driving Range Guys

Tim Apple and Sam Altman absolutely gagging on boot.

Twenty Twenty Frixx

An acute case of No Gay Friends.