Getting My Concussy Slonked Silly Style

Today’s Song: Silica Gel (feat. So!YoON!), “Tik Tak Tok”

You owe it to yourself and your country to stick around past minute four of this song for the best Korean psychedelic freakout jam since… I’m not sure there is a number two in that category but if there is, this one’s better.

Kids Fun Fact Science Corner: Silica gel is totally fine to eat. “Eating silica gel shouldn’t make you sick. Most often, it’ll pass through your body and exit without any harmful effects to you.” Silica gel just wants to visit your digestive tract for a little while, but you’re not helping. Why is that, Leon? 

This Really Happened:

Remember the Beach That Makes You Old? 2021 was so weird. Sometimes I remember things from 2021 and it’s like “there was a beach… that makes you old? Was that real?” And then it turns out I wrote a whole post about it four years ago. I think I could make up anything and it would turn out there was a Tabs about it from 2021, like some kind of clown-ass lathe of heaven. A whole year where we all got our concussy slonked silly style.

Also Serving Gonked Gourd: The Washington Post’s crappy new Opinion editor Adam O’Neal wrote the obligatory “we’ll be firing everyone who isn’t genuinely enthusiastic about our new mission to flatter the reactionary politics of our steroid ravaged owner and his cohort of villainous billionaire freaks” memo. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a problem that this is a whole genre of memo but then I remembered instances of regret in my life, and pain i have caused others. G/O Media has been all bonked up for years but with the sale of Kotaku it’s finally dead, putting an end at last to Jim Spanfeller’s reign of error. RIP to the dumbest media executive ever to do it.

The Mamdani Times should save the New York Times’s crappy assistant managing editor for Standards and Trust Patrick Healy a lot of effort. “Lately, it has been difficult to ignore a tendency at The New York Times to make astonishingly bad news judgments,” observed Liz Lopatto, who can perceive the obvious better than most people. The explanation is: the Times has a BrainBonk™️. Liz also wonders why someone hacked Columbia, and NYU, and the University of Minnesota and no one really seems to have reported much about it. Sorry babe, we all went to the beach that makes you dumb in 2020 and now it’s hard to pay attention to

Hey Dan Deacon sang the national anthem at an Orioles game.

The Information heard about Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six, and said “fuck everything, we’re doing TIT FIVE.”

God bless Sara Fischer, who keeps cranking out cognitive sledgehammers like this every damn day.

The Reference Section:

And First Of All: “How Did a Pair of Football Buddies From Utah Join a Coup in the Congo?” by Greg Donahue in NY Mag.