The News

Here are the news:

New Hole

“There’s a New Hole in the Ground at Yellowstone National Park,” Stephanie Pappas and editor Jeanna Bryner in Scientific American.

New Emoji

Roman Loyola at MacWorld reports that Unicode 17 will include several new emoji, including:

Trombone

Bigfoot

and Gooning

New Foods

The new foods at the Minnesota State Fair this year include croffle clouds, deep-fried tofuego bites, hot honey pizza ballzz (that’s “ballzz” with two z’s, if you’re nasty), and fawaffle. I didn’t include a screenshot of the uncrustaburger because I regret seeing it and so will you.

New Sedna-like Object

Chen, YT., Lykawka, P.S., Huang, Y. et al., “Discovery and dynamics of a Sedna-like object with a perihelion of 66 au.” in Nature Astronomy (https://doi.org/10.1038/s41550-025-02595-7).

I see you, Nicola Griffith fans.

New AI Porn Companion

“You know, for kids.” In Platformer, Casey Newton wrote:

And “Mecha-Hitler AI Waifu” was the story Miles Klee was born for:

New Phrases

Summer long balls: “Another told me he experiences a variation on summer long balls in which sweat causes the skin from his scrotum to stick to his leg, creating what he dubs a “bat wing” effect.”

Yeti blood oath: “The Archdiocese of Denver, in a statement to The Pillar, characterized the event as a ‘farce’ and said that ‘it was, however, part of a deeply imprudent and inappropriate prank…’”

The Biglaw Biter: “(For the record, before settling on the alliterative Biglaw Biter as the summer’s code name, we did consider Sidley Masticator, Scrumptious Summer, Champion Chomper, Mike Tyson of Biglaw, and the close runner-up, Associate Lecter.)”

Gritties with titties:

New Science

Scientists are still not beating the “deranged chaos gremlin” accusations. To wit:

“Experiment finds yoghurt can lower house temperature.” If you think there’s some reasonable explanation for this, be assured there isn’t. It’s literally “hey what if we smeared yogurt on the windows?”

“Everyday painkiller made from plastic — by E. coli.” What if we took bacteria from poop and fed it plastic… would it make Tylenol? I guess it would??? But again, scientists, what are we doing.

“Swarms of tiny nose robots could clear infected sinuses, researchers say.” Comme des fuçk on.

“Mysterious ‘ship goo’ contains new life forms.” Hey we found this black goop in a ship’s rudder post. Let’s see if it contains a new undiscovered form of life??? 

Next time on new science: “Mysterious ‘ship goo’ creates everyday painkiller in your sinuses—from yogurt.”

New Media

“Can The Washington Post’s TikTok Guy Make It Without The Post?” by Benjamin Mullin at The New York Times.

That’s it, those are the news.

Today‘s Song: Wet Leg, “Pillow Talk” from their new album “Moisturizer”