What's New? Wednesday

Portals in general are a bad idea.

Welcome to What’s New? Wednesday! The first thing that’s new this Wednesday is: What’s New? Wednesday.

What’s New In Art? Bad portraits. Jonathan Jones roasted the King’s new portrait in The Guardian but with incredible restraint he managed not to mention tampongate. Meanwhile in the upside-down, Australia’s richest woman “mining billionaire Gina Rinehart has demanded the National Gallery of Australia remove her portrait from an exhibition by the award-winning artist Vincent Namatjira.” The portrait is giving “woman caught yelling racist slurs in Walmart.”

Side by side of image Gina Rinehart on the left and on the right a painting of what is recognizably the same woman, but if she was painted by someone who truly hates her with every fiber of their being.

“Are you recording me!? Are you recording me!? Good! Now I’m recording you!”

What’s New In Politics? Felonious Bobs. The Washington state Democratic gubernatorial primary is back down to a single Bob Ferguson, after Original Bob Ferguson found that Washington election law says trying to ratfuck a political race by running someone with “A name similar to that of an incumbent seeking reelection to the same office with intent to confuse and mislead the electors” is a felony. Threatened with potential jail time, the two felonious Bobs dropped out on Monday. And in Missouri, Republican secretary of state candidate Valentina Gomez sucks real bad, even by Missouri Republican standards.

What’s New In Maine? Just normal Maine stuff.

A screenshot of a WGME news headline that reads “Body found in mud flats near old baked beans factory in Portland”

What’s New In Books? Books. Elle Reeve, the Racket Teen alum voted “most conventionally successful” at the legendary publication’s ten year reunion, wrote a book about “Charlottesville, Jan 6, the alt right, an incel three-way, a death party, a mushroom trip, a book burning, a fascist's cell phone + what [she] witnessed reporting on extremism for a decade” called Black Pill: How I Witnessed the Darkest Corners of the Internet Come to Life, Poison Society, and Capture American Politics. They said keep the subtitle short and snappy and she said I will not. “The” Maris “Review” Kreizman read Miranda July’s new book and Eric Adams’s deranged and out of print 2009 Don’t Let It Happen. And Absolution, the fourth book in Jeff VanderMeer’s increasingly misnamed Southern Reach trilogy, is available for pre-order now and comes out in October.

What’s New In Portals? Inappropriate behaviour. A live New York to Dublin video portal opened last week and was almost immediately shut down “after a drunk woman was caught grinding up against the project.” Surprisingly, she was in Dublin. Not to be outdone a New York OnlyFans creator got the portal shut down again this week by flashing Dublin at great length and with visible enthusiasm from all present. The flasher, Ava Louise, was unapologetic and to be fair toplessness is perfectly legal in New York. Ava Louise was previously best known for licking an airplane toilet seat and calling it the “coronavirus challenge” in March, 2020. Much to think about.

Jeff VanderMeer posted: “portals in general are a bad idea”

What’s New? Lightning Round. Let’s go! Deez Links goes paid. The Messenger’s Finkelstein still thinks he has a future in media, lol. Defector’s Burneko roasted Kevin Roose to a fine ash. Business Insider thinks Google has a killer A.I. app in “telling you what your phone camera is looking at.” I already know what a computer screen looks like but I’m just built different I guess. Maura Judkis petted more than one hundred incredibly Good Boys at Westminster. Want to buy the contents of an entire Red Lobster? Of course you do.

I posted: “My so-called friends used AI to yassify tabs” with an A.I. image of a much younger person than me with beautiful eyes, intellectual wire rimmed glasses, and a truly spectacular beard, wearing a nicer looking green sweater than I own, sitting at a silver laptop on a minimal barn wood desk, in front of a painting of A.I. Portland Head Light. Oh he’s also wearing a red bandana around his head, tied in front for some reason.

Today’s Song: Dazey and the Scouts, “Wet”

Promise me you’ll go outdoors this afternoon, we all need it.