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- Thursday #Longreads
Have you ever thought: “What if these reads were more… long?” Well now you can, with #longreads™.
The Pearl of Great Price
One of the public services by which The New Yorker pays for its many crimes1 is to occasionally recap and update a long-running story, especially one that is confusing, salacious, or, ideally, both. This month Thessaly La Force reviewed the case of Nicole Daedone, both literally in the sense of her June guilty verdict in a forced-labor conspiracy case, and figuratively in the sense of the case of her much-profiled masturbation cult OneTaste.
Throughout the five-week trial, Daedone, often wrapped in a beige shawl, would turn back to look at her partner, Emmett Farley, a writer and meditation guide, who sat in the gallery with a strand of Buddhist mala beads in his hand. These were to “change the energy in the room,” he told me, his shoulder-length brown hair tied in a bun. Daedone, using the hashtags #ErosOnTrial, #EroticJustice, #liberation, and #womenspower, frequently posted on Instagram, showing pictures and slow-motion videos of herself and Cherwitz, often flanked by female OneTaste supporters, striding into the courthouse. One post was accompanied by the Fugees’ “Zealots.”
Is Daedone a hashtag girlboss unfairly persecuted for being on her epic bean-flicking grindset, or a pimp masquerading as a guru? The jury found her the latter, and she currently awaits sentencing in jail in South Brooklyn. She plans to appeal until she finds a Trump judge addled enough to overturn the conviction and award her the Presidential Medal of Wanking instead, which shouldn’t take long.
[citation needed]
Once or twice a year Josh Dzieza washes ashore at The Verge with approximately ten thousand words about something, and it’s always worth your time. Today is the day and the something is the way Wikipedia keeps defeating its critics by being too boring to take down.
Trolls who repeatedly refuse to follow the process eventually get banned, but initial infractions are often met with explanations of how Wikipedia works. Several of the editors I spoke with began as vandals only to be won over by someone explaining to them how they could contribute productively…
Over the years, Wikipedia has developed an immune response to outside grievances. When people on X start complaining about Wikipedia’s suppression of UFO sightings or refusal to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to Gulf of America, an editor often restricts the page to people who are logged in and puts up a notice directing newcomers to read the latest debate. If anything important was missed, they are welcome to suggest it, the notice reads, provided their suggestion meets Wikipedia’s rules, which can be read about on the following pages. That is, Wikipedia’s first and best line of defense is to explain how Wikipedia works.
Who Is The Bad Surrogate Friend?
In Wired Emi Nietfeld has a story that seems like it might be a she-said / she-said dispute between a “gestational carrier” and her “intended parent” (in the jargon of surrogacy), a venture capitalist named Cindy Bi. Unfortunately it turns out to be the more straightforward case of a rich person being a titanic asshole at the expense of virtually everyone who comes into contact with her. Maybe skip this one if stillbirth is a particular no-go zone for you, but I personally learned a lot about the business of surrogacy, all of it horrifying.
Six months after Leon’s death, Bi’s daughter was born. In an Instagram announcement, Bi sits in a hospital recliner wearing a medical gown, clutching a newborn to her chest. Bi often compared her two surrogacy experiences—“I had the world’s worst GC, and the best”—and told me for months that everything with Chelsea Sanabria had been easy and smooth.
Not quite. Sanabria told me she had a great relationship with Bi but a pregnancy plagued with placental issues: first, gestational diabetes; then placenta previa, where the placenta blocks the cervix, which led to a hospitalization and a scheduled C-section. When doctors removed the baby, they found that the placenta had grown too deeply into her uterine wall, a condition known as placenta accreta. Once they removed the placenta, Sanabria began losing blood. As a nursing student and patient care technician, she knew what was going on as they called out numbers of blood loss—ultimately an astounding 5.4 liters. “The weirdest part was being awake” while she was dying, she said. An emergency hysterectomy saved her life. She woke up nine hours later, intubated, in the ICU.
This was the successful one! Yikes.
Dishonorable Mention
Alissa Wilkinson allegedly reviewed The Wizard of Oz at Sphere for The New York Times and it’s not actually long but it feels long because it’s very dumb. The first sentence is: “When I am asked to explain what critics actually do, the best answer I have is this: we say what we saw,” and it doesn’t get better from there. Once again, Vox has a lot to answer for.
#Shortreads: Eleven thousand Lafufus seized in Seattle. “The Orgy Dome has been destroyed.” New media nepo baby dropped. Other new media nepo baby also dropped. Matt Novak: “Stop What You’re Doing and Check if Your Ding Dong Is Moldy.” What they sent Nicole Daedone to jail for? No thanks. The Abundance Institute released a list of annoying people, along with a place and time where you can avoid them all at once. Bari Weiss about to be promoted way past her competence. People are mad but I think it should be pretty entertaining. CBS was already dead either way. Melania Trump: “First generation HOO-manoids.” After creating nothing of value, Josh Miller’s web browser company was bought by Atlassian for more than half a billion dollars. Lol, they’re all rich now. Infinite future lottery tickets!
What this really shows is the value of community.
Also: “Geometry.”
URL Made IRL: Hey did you know that former Awl managing editor Carrie Frye edited The Awl: The Book and that it’s now for sale at the Flaming Hydra global superstore? Go buy one. This is not a paid promotional message, I just like The Awl.
THE-FUCKING-MOON
Today’s Song: Nine Inch Nails, “Capital G” (Paul Epworth Phones 666 Revolutions Mix)
I pushed a button and dropped the Tab.
1 They know what they’ve done.
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