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Salad Days and Chowder Nights

www.todayintabs.com

Salad Days and Chowder Nights

Should have voted Romaine innit

Rusty Foster
Oct 20, 2022
20
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Salad Days and Chowder Nights

www.todayintabs.com

CHAOS IN OL’ KNIFEY!

“Absolute Scenes” in Westminster

☞ “BEYOND batshit levels of foot-shooting by Team Truss”

☞ It’s a Fracking Madhouse! MPs “Manhandled.”

☞ Truss Reels From Deepening Chaos

“TOTAL, ABSOLUTE, ABJECT CHAOS.”

A gif of the “chaos reigns” fox from Lars Von Trier’s “Antichrist” but subtitled “Honestly this is a little much, chaos-wise.” If you don’t get it, just trust me, it’s such a good joke.

☞ Backbenchers Agitate

☞ FARCE MAJEURE: “The government has become a total farce.”

Crispin Blunt, a former justice minister, urged MPs to act. “We need to effect change today in order to stop this shambles and give our country that governance it needs under our constitution.”

Crisp ‘n blunt, indeed!

☞ “Quantifying Britain’s moron risk premium”

[I]f Liz Truss were PM for the next half-decade it would cost the country £11.8bn — almost £2.4bn a year, or £6.4mn a day.

Is that a lot? Hang on, I’ve just been handed this breaking news bulletin…

TRUSS OUT!

… don’t make such a Truss … catch the next Truss out of town … Truss, but rarify … all Trussed up with nowhere to go …

“I came into office at a time of great international and economic instability,” says Liz Truss in her resignation speech, ”so… uh, bye!”

Twitter avatar for @ErikTruong_
Erik Truong @ErikTruong_
oh no the sign is already up
Image
12:18 PM ∙ Oct 20, 2022
3,302Likes407Retweets

Former PM Makes Baffling Statement on Social Media:

Twitter avatar for @trussliz
Liz Truss @trussliz
Burns night at Cock in Magdalen. Neeps and tatties tastic.
8:47 PM ∙ Jan 22, 2011
713Likes411Retweets

LETTUCE ALL CONGRATULATE THE NEW PM:

Screenshot of the Daily Star’s “can this lettuce outlast Liz Truss” livestream celebrating that the lettuce did in fact outlast Liz Truss and is now legally Prime Minister.
Don’t get too excited, she also voted leaf.

Liz Lettuce outlines a unifying platform: “We are not anti-Tory or anti-Labour… we are anti-idiot.” So you’re anti-Tory and anti-Labour?

NEW EXCHANGE RATE ROILS MARKETS

Twitter avatar for @lauraolin
laura olin @lauraolin
a Truss is 4.09 Scaramuccis
12:50 PM ∙ Oct 20, 2022
45Likes14Retweets

Boris To Stand For PM

But Will Tory MPs Stand For Boris?

MEANWHILE, DEEP BENEATH A BRIGHT RED PILLAR BOX AMIDST A COMPLEX WEB OF STREETS AND BUILDINGS IN A QUIET CORNER OF MAYFAIR…

Danger Mouse and Penfold watch Liz Truss resign, as Penfold says his immortal catchphrase: "Crumbs, chief!" Did you know Penfold's first name is Ernest?

Oy, drop us a tenner? Noin bob? Six shillings and ‘alf-a-crown? Ha’penny? Bob’s yer uncle, mate.

WOT NOW THEN EH?

☞ The Economist: Welcome to Britaly

The argument that Ms Truss or any successor lacks a mandate is flawed in a parliamentary system. But if Parliament is unable to produce a functioning government then it is time to go to the voters. That moment is drawing closer.

Holding elections has not resolved Italy’s problems…

Labour can fix it though, right?

☞ Therese Raphael: Truss’s Exit Leaves Tories at the Last Chance Saloon

While lowering the tax burden should remain a plan for the future, when public finances allow, the government will need to be creative about ways to encourage investment and growth. That should mean an open discussion on immigration, given Britain’s tight labor market, and resolving tensions with Europe over Northern Ireland so that closer cooperation and trade ties can be rebuilt. Dealing with the reality of Brexit means at least acknowledging its economic costs. 

Are you ‘avin a larff mate?

Twitter avatar for @paleofuture
Matt Novak @paleofuture
Truss was sworn in under Queen Elizabeth II and served long enough to see King Charles III, what an incredible tenure
1:04 PM ∙ Oct 20, 2022
27Likes3Retweets

MEANWHILE, IN THE COLONIES:

If you didn’t understand any of the preceding absolutely normal British journalism, Daniel Victor summed it up for the provincials. The German press also cut right to the heart of things:

Twitter avatar for @benphillips76
Ben Phillips @benphillips76
German TV news on what is happening in British politics is amazing. No need to understand German, watch to the end
12:13 PM ∙ Oct 20, 2022
68,159Likes12,904Retweets

Meanwhile in American politics, Democrats were rugged by defective altruist crypto-grifter Sam Bankman-Fried, and “Arizona GOP Candidate Arrested For Allegedly Masturbating In Truck Near Preschool.”

In a Facebook post from May, Kaufman said he wanted “our children protected [from] the progressive left.”

Twitter avatar for @80snewsscreens
80s News Screens @80snewsscreens
Image
12:45 PM ∙ Oct 20, 2022
544Likes183Retweets

Adriane Quinlan listened in outside Goldman Sachs:

I’m so happy we got to see you because when we were on the vineyard–
We were gonna do two weeks next year.
We were there five months last year.

And Brian Feldman is back in Defector with a shocking update to his blockbuster investigation into the origins of “Basketball (so funny you’ll pee your pants).avi.”

“I have another clip to show you,” I said. Moments into this next clip, Piltch’s jaw dropped. Over the next 87 seconds, his gaze whipped between the screen and me in stunned silence.

Twitter avatar for @i_zzzzzz
Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz
I think she would've been really good in late 90s / early 2000s indie comedy films
8:14 PM ∙ Oct 16, 2022
2,096Likes156Retweets

Today’s Song: Minor Threat, “Salad Days”

Twitter avatar for @mslopatto
Elizabeth Lopatto @mslopatto
all the lizes are going to keep dropping til I’m the last one standing
3:46 PM ∙ Oct 20, 2022
17Likes4Retweets
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