Every year we all wake up on Thanksgiving morning and make the same old King’s Hand. Does anyone even like King’s Hand? This year, why not try something a little different. Here’s a Thanksgiving meal plan that incorporates classic dream food elements with a fresh, modern twist.

Start with cocktails and a snack:

My cocktail app keeps telling me that a negroni sbagliato requires “NaN oz of persecco:”

𝕊𝕥. 𝕍𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥 ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄɪᴀʟ (𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓭𝔂) @hyperflesh

had a dream that I was trying to build an app whose sole purpose was providing a recipe for a negroni sbagliato with persecco and I was having a lot of trouble figuring out the javascript

4:17 PM ∙ Oct 29, 2022

So instead here’s a new cocktail I’m calling the Hidden Valley Sunrise:

'maryr' 🤨 @merveille

I had a dream (nightmare?) where someone provided the recipe for a drink which, among other things, included: * 1/2 oz banana liquor * 1/4 tsp cinnamon * celery * 2 oz buttermilk * 1 oz ranch dressing syrup

7:19 PM ∙ Nov 20, 2022

And for teetotalers, there’s street boba:

jay Dragon 🔜 PAX Unplugged @jdragsky

had a dream there was a recipe for bubble tea which was made entirely in your dishwasher called "street boba" "pull the tapioca pearls out of your trash filter like pearls from a clam" said the wise woman showing me how to make street boba

12:33 PM ∙ Jan 24, 2022

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Casual appetizers are in so just put out a bowl of Thursdays for your guests to munch.

Tara Ariano @TaraAriano

I dreamed a new snack food that was basically Quaker Oat Rectangles but bigger and salty, and then dreamed I woke up and tweeted that and people were like, “Those exist, they’re called Thursdays.” Okay have a good day everyone

5:20 PM ∙ Apr 26, 2021

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Meanwhile, you better get started on the…

Soup:

Matt Bell @mdbell79

Had a dream last night about my grandmother gleefully serving me plate after plate of a "family recipe" of boiled onions and pasta swimming in starchy water. The food was terrible, but it was nice to see her.

10:44 PM ∙ Aug 17, 2022

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1. Struss your vegetables.

Kyle Martinak @kylemartinak

Had a dream where I was in a cooking competition and the first step of the recipe was "strussing" vegetables. I had 30 minutes. I decided to wake up. I've got real work anxiety, I don't need this fake stuff on top of it. Thanks, brain. You absolute jackass.

1:10 PM ∙ Jul 25, 2022

2. Measure out 2.7 million breadcrumbs:

IDK Your BFF Rose @rose_of_tx

I have a lot of stress dreams. Last night I dreamed I had a recipe that called for 2.7 million breadcrumbs and I couldn’t figure out how many cups that was plus who has the time to count?

2:48 PM ∙ Mar 21, 2022

3. Finish with slowed-down garlic:

trader joes hate account @meepsketball

Had a dream that I was cooking a recipe that called for “slowed-down garlic”

11:42 AM ∙ Feb 17, 2022

People really love this soup! They’ll want to eat it over and over.

Baby Pigman @pigman_baby

Just had a dream that i found a great recipe for soup but the article was worded like a porn ad for SEO optimization and went "if you eat this soup you will cum in less than a minute"

2:59 PM ∙ Sep 4, 2022

Sides:

Bitch fritters are out in the double deuce. This year why not incorporate some Iberian flavor with a beautiful Cascadilla.

sarah dufrau @dufrau

I dreamed a new food, a "traditional Spanish delicacy" called a Cascadilla which was a jello mold filled with sliced pickles. You had to just dump the pickles in there, no stirring or anything. "The pickles must fall as they may". I feel really bad about inventing this. Im sorry.

9:32 AM ∙ Oct 24, 2021

Earbuds, two ways:

ava bercerita @roridisini

i dreamed i cooked my earphones in my chicken curry. nice.

2:06 AM ∙ May 5, 2022

Todd in the Shadows @ShadowTodd

Last night I dreamed I cooked ramen with earbuds and I spent most of today trying to convince people that that was actually possible.

1:22 AM ∙ Aug 18, 2013

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And of course a big bowl of gubber.

Leger-Felicite Snorlax (turkey) 🦃🏴💎 @SegaCD8

dreamed that a fast food side called "gubber" existed.

2:10 PM ∙ Jan 2, 2021

Salad:

Quantum Scumbag @quantum_scumbag

Last night i dreamed up a new food called 'road salad'. You toss grapes into a bag of doritos and shake until ready

1:48 AM ∙ Oct 30, 2017

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C:＼＞vibes.exe @vibes_exe

@quantum_scumbag how do you know when its ready

9:01 AM ∙ Oct 30, 2017

Quantum Scumbag @quantum_scumbag

@vibes_exe when the grape skin is bruised but not macerated

9:05 AM ∙ Oct 30, 2017

Main Course:

It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a roast, so let’s make pork shine. Don’t forget the juices!

MC @ThulsaGloom

Last night I dreamed that there was a food called "pork shine," which was a canned whole pig ass. Giant pig ass in a can. With juices like those canned whole chickens.

3:29 PM ∙ Jul 26, 2018

But more and more people are enjoying a plant-based diet, so for the vegetarians there’s Adderall Lasagna.

madddy @moddyfronklon

had a dream my dad and I made Adderall Lasagna. It’s a delicious lasagna with a layer adderalls crushed up in the middle. Might recipe test it soon to see if it holds up outside of dream world.

11:09 AM ∙ Sep 28, 2022

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The best part of Adderall Lasagna is that clean-up is a breeze.

Dessert

Everyone’s getting pretty full by now, but they won’t be able to resist your elegant dark chocolate cucumber salmon.

Niall Taylor 🐤🥚 @nialljtaylor

Last night I dreamed about the most cursed food. It was a piece of salmon, covered in dark chocolate. When you bit into it, there was a hidden core of cucumber raita. You eat it with chopsticks.

5:52 PM ∙ Oct 9, 2020

And for a digestive platter, just whip up this three cookie assortment.

Lil Baby’s devastating North Korea cookies:

Nxckko @Nxckko

Just had a dream I saw a tweet saying “lil baby devastates North Korea with simple oatmeal cookie recipe”

7:48 PM ∙ Sep 19, 2022

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Bjork’s secret cookies:

izzy @1800izzy

had a dream i was baking cookies with bjork and she was teaching me her secret recipes

5:34 PM ∙ Sep 30, 2022

And Butt Snufflins:

Quintalian @Quintalian

Woke up with the fragment of dream about reading a new circular where a winning cookie recipe was submitted, an oatmeal drop cookie called Butt Snufflins. So if you need a name for your cookie, you could use that one.

11:50 AM ∙ Jun 29, 2022

Serve with ripe bog butter.

bruce bogbutter @dorkusmalorkus_

some of you may remember that me and some pals went and buried some butter in a bog. today we retrieved it. it tasted extremely Ripe.

5:50 PM ∙ Nov 20, 2022

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Happy Hanksgiving!

Katie McBee @KatieMcBee13

Dreamed of a new holiday last night: Hanksgiving Held between Halloween and Thanksgiving, everyone gathers for a big meal dressed as their favorite @tomhanks movie character. Dibs on Jimmy Dugan for 2021.

2:30 PM ∙ Dec 27, 2020