Thanksgiving Dream Dinner, 2022

"The pickles must fall as they may."

Every year we all wake up on Thanksgiving morning and make the same old King’s Hand. Does anyone even like King’s Hand? This year, why not try something a little different. Here’s a Thanksgiving meal plan that incorporates classic dream food elements with a fresh, modern twist.

Start with cocktails and a snack:

My cocktail app keeps telling me that a negroni sbagliato requires “NaN oz of persecco:”

𝕊𝕥. 𝕍𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥 ᴏꜰꜰɪᴄɪᴀʟ (𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓭𝔂) @hyperflesh

had a dream that I was trying to build an app whose sole purpose was providing a recipe for a negroni sbagliato with persecco and I was having a lot of trouble figuring out the javascript

So instead here’s a new cocktail I’m calling the Hidden Valley Sunrise:

'maryr' 🤨 @merveille

I had a dream (nightmare?) where someone provided the recipe for a drink which, among other things, included: * 1/2 oz banana liquor * 1/4 tsp cinnamon * celery * 2 oz buttermilk * 1 oz ranch dressing syrup

And for teetotalers, there’s street boba:

jay Dragon 🔜 PAX Unplugged @jdragsky

had a dream there was a recipe for bubble tea which was made entirely in your dishwasher called "street boba" "pull the tapioca pearls out of your trash filter like pearls from a clam" said the wise woman showing me how to make street boba

Casual appetizers are in so just put out a bowl of Thursdays for your guests to munch.

Tara Ariano @TaraAriano

I dreamed a new snack food that was basically Quaker Oat Rectangles but bigger and salty, and then dreamed I woke up and tweeted that and people were like, “Those exist, they’re called Thursdays.” Okay have a good day everyone

Meanwhile, you better get started on the…

Soup:

Matt Bell @mdbell79

Had a dream last night about my grandmother gleefully serving me plate after plate of a "family recipe" of boiled onions and pasta swimming in starchy water. The food was terrible, but it was nice to see her.

1. Struss your vegetables.

Kyle Martinak @kylemartinak

Had a dream where I was in a cooking competition and the first step of the recipe was "strussing" vegetables. I had 30 minutes. I decided to wake up. I've got real work anxiety, I don't need this fake stuff on top of it. Thanks, brain. You absolute jackass.

2. Measure out 2.7 million breadcrumbs:

IDK Your BFF Rose @rose_of_tx

I have a lot of stress dreams. Last night I dreamed I had a recipe that called for 2.7 million breadcrumbs and I couldn’t figure out how many cups that was plus who has the time to count?

3. Finish with slowed-down garlic:

trader joes hate account @meepsketball

Had a dream that I was cooking a recipe that called for “slowed-down garlic”

People really love this soup! They’ll want to eat it over and over.

Baby Pigman @pigman_baby

Just had a dream that i found a great recipe for soup but the article was worded like a porn ad for SEO optimization and went "if you eat this soup you will cum in less than a minute"

Sides:

Bitch fritters are out in the double deuce. This year why not incorporate some Iberian flavor with a beautiful Cascadilla.

sarah dufrau @dufrau

I dreamed a new food, a "traditional Spanish delicacy" called a Cascadilla which was a jello mold filled with sliced pickles. You had to just dump the pickles in there, no stirring or anything. "The pickles must fall as they may". I feel really bad about inventing this. Im sorry.

Earbuds, two ways:

ava bercerita @roridisini

i dreamed i cooked my earphones in my chicken curry. nice.

Todd in the Shadows @ShadowTodd

Last night I dreamed I cooked ramen with earbuds and I spent most of today trying to convince people that that was actually possible.

And of course a big bowl of gubber.

Leger-Felicite Snorlax (turkey) 🦃🏴💎 @SegaCD8

dreamed that a fast food side called "gubber" existed.

Salad:

Quantum Scumbag @quantum_scumbag

Last night i dreamed up a new food called 'road salad'. You toss grapes into a bag of doritos and shake until ready

C:＼＞vibes.exe @vibes_exe

@quantum_scumbag how do you know when its ready

Quantum Scumbag @quantum_scumbag

@vibes_exe when the grape skin is bruised but not macerated

Main Course:

It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a roast, so let’s make pork shine. Don’t forget the juices!

MC @ThulsaGloom

Last night I dreamed that there was a food called "pork shine," which was a canned whole pig ass. Giant pig ass in a can. With juices like those canned whole chickens.

But more and more people are enjoying a plant-based diet, so for the vegetarians there’s Adderall Lasagna.

madddy @moddyfronklon

had a dream my dad and I made Adderall Lasagna. It’s a delicious lasagna with a layer adderalls crushed up in the middle. Might recipe test it soon to see if it holds up outside of dream world.

The best part of Adderall Lasagna is that clean-up is a breeze.

Dessert

Everyone’s getting pretty full by now, but they won’t be able to resist your elegant dark chocolate cucumber salmon.

Niall Taylor 🐤🥚 @nialljtaylor

Last night I dreamed about the most cursed food. It was a piece of salmon, covered in dark chocolate. When you bit into it, there was a hidden core of cucumber raita. You eat it with chopsticks.

And for a digestive platter, just whip up this three cookie assortment.

Lil Baby’s devastating North Korea cookies:

Nxckko @Nxckko

Just had a dream I saw a tweet saying “lil baby devastates North Korea with simple oatmeal cookie recipe”

Bjork’s secret cookies:

izzy @1800izzy

had a dream i was baking cookies with bjork and she was teaching me her secret recipes

And Butt Snufflins:

Quintalian @Quintalian

Woke up with the fragment of dream about reading a new circular where a winning cookie recipe was submitted, an oatmeal drop cookie called Butt Snufflins. So if you need a name for your cookie, you could use that one.

Serve with ripe bog butter.

bruce bogbutter @dorkusmalorkus_

some of you may remember that me and some pals went and buried some butter in a bog. today we retrieved it. it tasted extremely Ripe.

Happy Hanksgiving!

Katie McBee @KatieMcBee13

Dreamed of a new holiday last night: Hanksgiving Held between Halloween and Thanksgiving, everyone gathers for a big meal dressed as their favorite @tomhanks movie character. Dibs on Jimmy Dugan for 2021.