Thanksgiving Dream Dinner

One metric liter of what?

Tired of the same old turkey and stuffing on Thanksgiving? This year, why not make Thanksgiving dinner entirely from the dreams of strangers? It’s easy, and you might survive it! Let’s get started.

Step one: Collect your ingredients

Soup course: In the Hole

Time for cocktails!

Listen this one sounds legitimately good.


Side dishes:

Today we’re having boiled tinfoil:


Bitch fritters:

And Isis’s “extra special” cinnamon rolls:

Vegetarian options:

If you have anyone at the table who doesn’t eat meat, you could whip them up a quick Dream Omelet. For the bacon, just substitute anything. Literally anything. Soy crumbles, lettuce, a fleeting moment of contentment, boiled tinfoil. Whatever you have.

The main course:

You need a dramatic centerpiece for a festive meal like this, so naturally, you’re making King’s Hand.

Click through for the full recipe. “The details make the Hand,” as they say.


Post-dinner chat:

While you’re all half-dozing in the familiar post-Thanksgiving King’s Hand Coma, here’s a whole thread of dream products you can browse, for your Blackest Friday deal-hunting.

Some of my favorites include:

Happy Dress Up Larger Day everyone!