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Ken Klippenstein Announces Plan To Lose His Mind

Ya like jazz?

Ken Klippenstein Announces Plan To Lose His Mind” reports @swolecialism on Bluesky after the newly self-employed journalist posted a grievance-drenched Substack jeremiad roasting his former employer The Intercept and congratulating himself for quitting to start a newsletter. The post is enjoyably messy, even by the high standards of past Intercept departures, but getting to the good stuff does require that the reader wade through a lot of “we have Aaron Sorkin at home” type rhetoric on the high-minded pursuit of journalism and “the elites frog marching us through” something something. In his new project on the Nazi newsletter platform, Klippenstein promises:

screenshot of text from the post, reading: “My best stories will be your story: how they want your acquiescence for the war party, how they want your money to pay for their follies, how they want to limit the information you receive, how they want to bee up your ass controlling every aspect of your life.”
Barry B. Benson from the bee movie lowers his sunglasses in surprise.

Ya like jazz?

Klippenstein, who is not a Krassenstein, will be joined by editor William Arkin who allegedly edited this very post, which includes a current org chart for The Intercept meant to illustrate “how top-heavy it has become with business hires,” a description Choire didn’t agree with.

Intercept org chart, which looks like a pretty normal nonprofit org chart.

The post gets more interesting after that, with several behind the scenes tales of hot gritty newsroom drama which will appeal to the kind of media sicko who reads Tabs, and which largely feature in the role of villain Klippenstein’s arch-nemesis, Intercept general counsel David Bralow “who” allegedly “resembles a Catholic priest caricatured in one of Martin Luther’s tracts, living well off the generosity of his modest parishioners.” Ok?? Also included is a PDF of an email thread that lays out The Intercept’s source protection checklist, which is as careful and thorough as you’d expect from an organization that would like to avoid sending any more sources to jail. Editor Arkin’s response is “this sounds like a joke to me,” so I guess keep that in mind if you’re considering leaking anything sensitive to this new venture.

All that said, Today in Tabs is institutionally pro-quitting, so I do wish them success, and however much media liability insurance they’ve purchased, I hope it’s Kenough.


Damn, my Semafor impression is getting pretty good.

Also Today in Bees:

Y̸̘͎̓͆ā̶̡̖̈́ ̶̺̥̃͌l̴̢̛ḭ̷̙͊͝k̵̤̆e̶͇̅ ̷͈́͆j̶̜̆̾â̶̙z̶̤͙̓z̸̨̅?̷̛̭̞̌

Also Today in Media:

Unlike tool of the billionaire elites Max Tani, who will never count as an impact point as long as he insists on frog marching us blindfolded through a sanitized world of make-believe, Today in Tabs can fearlessly and EXCLUSIVELY report that the Onion article Ben Collins failed to plant in the Semafor media newsletter was “Girlfriend’s Eyes Peeking Up Over Torso During Blow Job Like Gator In Bayou.” Corporate shills in the pocket of Big Gator may try to hide the truth, but I never will.

Jude Doyle posted “I just had the thought "at least Glenn Greenwald died before Trump's second run" and I'm really in awe of my brain for just deleting Glenn from reality for me. Truly, never underestimate Man's ability to imagine a better world.”

Parker Molloy: “Boy, I Sure Was Wrong About Tucker Carlson's Post-Fox Fate.” I’m so glad Tucker Carlson died before Trump’s second run too!

The Wrap’s Umberto Gonzalez reports that The Rock “was late an average of seven to eight hours per day” on the set for long-delayed dumb Christmas movie RED ONE, and also gets into the whole pee bottle thing. Until today I didn’t know The Rock had a “pee bottle thing,” but now I do, so now you have to know as well. That’s newsletters. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

They found the “Everyone Knows That” song, in a porn from 1986. That link is to The Guardian and is perfectly safe for work, I’m sorry it’s often so difficult to tell.

The Rabbit R1 is another useless AI assistant that can’t do anything, according to Marques Brownlee who seems tired of reviewing the broken junk that tech is putting out lately. Allison Johnson played “Are you smarter than just googling it?” and found that: no.

“Newly deciphered passages from a papyrus scroll that was buried beneath layers of volcanic ash after the AD79 eruption of Mount Vesuvius” confirm that in his final hours on earth, Plato was still a dick:

Despite battling a fever and being on the brink of death, Plato… retained enough lucidity to critique the [enslaved] musician for her lack of rhythm, the account suggests.

And Finally: I haven’t written much about how University administrators and cops have been treating the student anti-war protests because it’s difficult to be funny or entertaining about things that actually make me furious, and I’m sure you’re seeing it everywhere else already. Fortunately David Roth wrote what needs to be said.

Today’s Song: “Revolution (B-Boy Anthem),” by Zion I

A couple people have mentioned recently that I link to a lot of stuff that’s paywalled, which is kinda just how media is now that we’ve decided as a society that Google and Facebook should have all the ad revenue. But if it helps, last year (which is canonically 2022) I wrote a whole post about the best ways to access paywalled stories, and most of it still holds up:

Robble robble!