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Twos Day
Sequels and Updates
The Marine Corps found its lost F-35 “in a rural expanse of farmland and swamp… more than 63 miles from the North Charleston backyard where the pilot landed more than 24 hours earlier” report Glenn Smith, Tyler Fedor, Thad Moore, John Ramsey and Ali Rockett from The Post and Courier, who cannot be accused of understaffing a local story that’s getting national attention. Is sixty three miles a lot for a fighter jet to fly over a populated area without anyone on board? Probably not. Still Missing: “Sixty-one percent of [the U.S. military’s] $3.5 trillion in assets.” Also Found in South Carolina: The new Hitler Youth, informing on their A.P. English teacher for assigning Ta-Nehisi Coates.
“Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender.” The Onion still occasionally slaps.
“You’re telling me there wasn’t a lengthy and well-publicized trial where Brand was acquitted, but then new allegations emerged? And, like, social media posts where the women got called liars? None of that happened? Huh. I even feel like I read a think-piece about how we could still appreciate Forgetting Sarah Marshall despite his crimes. It’s probably insane to even ask this, but didn’t he release a comeback special back in 2020 about how everyone tried to cancel him for the sexual assault stuff? Seriously? Not even that?”
Speaking of slaps, here’s Ezra Marcus on “The Spanker of Shelter Island.” This isn’t an update to anything, segues are just my passion.
Barbenheimer Updates: In The New York Times Iva Dixit posits a grand unified theory of Barbenheimer:
I have now been to the theater four times to watch J. Robert Oppenheimer manufacture and then wallow in his own unhappiness, and at some point along the way, I came to realize that this film is, as they say, “for the girlies.”
I still haven’t seen either movie, preferring to participate in culture via the Discourse alone, so I don’t know if this argument makes any sense but I do know that Barbenheimer Castle is for sale in Hudson, Wisconsin for $1.1 million. And speaking of dubious arguments, in the Times Magazine Denise Lu argues that we should stop streaming music. Yes, it is the worst way to pay artists (although it doesn’t have to be!), and sure, we should all be buying stuff from Bandcamp, but Lu managed to get a reputable news magazine to print the outrageous sentence: “Once I add something to my iTunes library, I have it forever.” I love the youths and their optimism but no software on Earth has deleted as much music as iTunes. fdisk dreams about wiping out as much music as iTunes. Rare earth magnets are a less certain way to remove all the music from your library than putting it in iTunes.
Lowtax Speedrun Updates: Now Musk is floating the idea of charging everyone to use Twitter. Reached for comment, Twitter’s remaining user said “I wish a bitch would.“ And in The Markup Jon Keegan, Dan Phiffer and Joel Eastwood quantified exactly how much Twitter is still throttling links to competitors like Facebook, Substack, Instagram, and Bluesky. It would be funny if it weren’t sad how funny it is.
“Who the hell are 2girls1bottl3?” The Face profile of Tiktok’s pseudonymous “Mixie” and “Munchie” by Nicolaia Rips (it sure does!). This isn’t an update of anything but it feels like one, somehow?
Sometimes fans compare them to Marina Abramović, Munchie says. Mixie looks confused. Munchie nudges her: “You know, the artist who stares at people and makes them cry.” It’s a funny comparison, not only because I can’t imagine them making anyone cry. If Abramović strips down to give herself completely to the audience, these girls do the opposite. By erasing themselves as individuals you’re forced to only look at their work. The artists are not present.
It’s so good, honestly, read this and then watch some of their videos and marvel at humankind, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable.
Miles Klee followed up on anti-glasses wellness grifter Samantha Lotus and her debunker @this_is_mallory (per my previous email), and there’s not really much new there, but he also dug into the historical roots of vision care quackery which is interesting. Dave Karpf has his own follow-up themed newsletter today, including updates on AI-as-peak-McKinsey and the latest pronatalist nonsense in The Times, which still never quite manages say what the actual problem with a declining global human population would be. Casey Newton posted his year three Platformer update, where I learned that my mental categorization of Platformer as “a bit bigger than Tabs” is now wildly incorrect.
Let's start by talking about how things are going around here. When I last wrote an anniversary post, there were just under 75,000 subscribers to the free edition. A year later, that number has climbed to 155,355 — more than doubling our growth rate over last year.
I guess that’s what you can achieve with a newsletter by “having a clear subject” and “doing top-notch original reporting.” Couldn’t be me.
Boebert Update: No more dates. Emily Gould talked to Maria Bamford and it’s a good one if you are curious about how much money people make, or how much you can spend on an Airbnb in Dumbo. Are you a voicecel? Almost certainly, yes.
Today’s Song: Natalie Imbruglia, “Torn”
Music Intern Sam failed to talk me out of this, but he does offer as an alternative Lis Sørensen’s “Brændt.” 5:01 pm: Restate my assumptions. One: It’s just a normal day.
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