Today in Tabs

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Sick Day

Let's watch TV

Rusty Foster
Sep 21, 2022
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I finally caught the cold that’s going around. Hopefully not this cold. Maybe I should just rest up and watch some TV today? I probably have time to rewatch the “Lord of the Rings,” the fantasy sensation that “has for a half-century been a central pillar upon which descendants of post-Fascism reconstructed a hard-right identity, looking to a traditionalist mythic age for symbols, heroes and creation myths free of Fascist taboos.” Oh. Yikes. Which reminds me, Jamelle Bouie just mentioned this newly published analysis of Tolkien’s racial hierarchy by Charles W. Mills: “The Wretched of Middle-Earth: An Orkish Manifesto.”

I am suggesting that if we take Tolkien at his word and read LTR as a “true mythology” of our own earth, then we will find that the text metamorphoses chillingly from a quaint otherworldly fantasy into a literal transcription of one of the most malignant ideologies of the past millennium: the racist “Aryan Myth,” which, in one form or another, would ultimately justify both the conquest and mass murder of the nonwhite world by Europeans, and the later Nazi genocide of Europeans themselves.

You know, there was always something that bothered me about Middle Earth’s tripartite racial structure where Elves are shining and white and fair and universally good and did I mention White, while orcs are foul and black and “slant-eyed” and super Black and universally evil, and in between are men and Hobbits and the secretive, clannish Dwarves who love gold more than anything else. Couldn’t quite put my finger on it though.

Maybe I’ll check out Netflix’s new Marilyn biopic? Let’s see if Richard Brody liked it…

Even if “Blonde,” written and directed by Andrew Dominik, had offered a sympathetic and discerning view of the private life of Marilyn Monroe, it would have been a cinematic disaster.

Ok! I guess I’m watching “Spirited Away” again. But first: a couple rounds of Trombone Champ.

Twitter avatar for @JacobDJAtkinson
Jacob DeRose @JacobDJAtkinson
Trombone Champ is the best game ever made
4:54 AM ∙ Sep 21, 2022
1,723Likes445Retweets

Liz Trussed? I woke up feverish this morning and thought maybe this conspiracy theory about new British P.M. was a bad dream I had but regrettably, no. At least we can finally be sure that it was Boris Johnson who wrote this Ask a Manager question.

Twitter avatar for @SenatorIvy
Ra's al Dolezal @SenatorIvy
We must build an economy from the face down and the ass up
10:43 PM ∙ Sep 20, 2022
54Likes7Retweets

Pop Quiz: Which Local Massachusetts News Report Is Real?

  1. Midboroughtownhaven reduced to only twenty six Dunkies:

    Twitter avatar for @dhtoomey
    Dan Toomey @dhtoomey
    Every Massachusetts news story
    12:30 PM ∙ Sep 20, 2022
    59,465Likes8,872Retweets
  2. I went face-to-face with Woburn's troublemaking turkey.

    Twitter avatar for @MattWBZ
    Matt Shearer @MattWBZ
    I went face-to-face with Woburn's troublemaking turkey. @wbznewsradio
    11:29 AM ∙ Sep 19, 2022
    921Likes80Retweets

Trick question. They’re both real.

Have you noticed there are a lot of embeds today? I’m not saying it was a slow news day, but:

Screenshot of the NYT headline: “For New Yorkers, 6 p.m. Is the New 8 p.m.” Subhed: “Why are restaurants in the city filling up at hours that were once unfashionably early?”

Terra founder and unstablecoin mogul Do Kwon’s “I’m totally not on the run!” luggage sticker is raising questions that will have to be answered when Interpol catches up with him. “Health Panel Recommends Anxiety Screening for All Adults Under 65,” so that’s another thing you have to worry about. Adam Levine would do anything for the booty. Jorts: The Game.

Twitter avatar for @SeeMyScissors
Doctor Dawl θΔ @SeeMyScissors
diversity win! this opticon is pan!!
the panopticon a central pillar from which a light that is rainbow colored can shine on all of the cells arranged in a circle around it
2:57 AM ∙ Sep 19, 2022
31,555Likes3,531Retweets

Yeah Tabs is short today, I’m going back to bed. Let’s try again tomorrow, everyone.

Today’s Song: Wednesday, “Bull Believer”

~ like bringing a knife to a tab fight ~

I hear the Tabs discord is really good! Many people are saying it, more and more. You should subscribe and join us. Also please bring ginger ale.

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