New Type of Guy Dropped

What if we kissed in the compost heap šŸ˜³

Thereā€™s a new type of guy in China called the šŸ¦ type. Weā€™re not talking about long-lost cinnamon toast šŸ¦ guy Jensen Karp, but the šŸ¦ guys in Louisiana are carping about imported shrimp making them all poā€™ boys instead of šŸ¦ guys.

Thereā€™s a Naomi Fry in The New Yorker called ā€œThe Galvanizing Body Horror of Heidi Klumā€™s Worm Costume.ā€ Donā€™t worry everyone sheā€™s still super hot inside there, just like your wormfriend!

Year 3000: Thereā€™s a new type of mech taking over the power on earth called the šŸ¦ type.

ā€œThe Book That Hastened Bonoā€™s Puberty, in a Good Wayā€ is a headline that hastened my demise, in a bad way. Can you guess what publication this is from? I bet you canā€™t. You donā€™t want to read this and I donā€™t either, so letā€™s assume the book was Clan of the Cave Bear like everyone else. Iā€™m kidding, of course I read it, I love mess! Bono is the most pretentious person who ever livedā€”you almost have to admire his commitment to the game.1 Look at this:

Are there any classic novels that you only recently read for the first time?

ā€œMy Name Is Asher Lev,ā€ by Chaim Potok. All art is religious to me, even bad art is revealing. It will be the only real glance we get into the state of our soul until that can be measured. U2 early on faced a crisis of conscience regarding our devotion to the divine ā€” the divine as expressed by a certain strain of religious thought, or, as expressed in each other and our audience. We chose the latter, and as an activist, on that same path Iā€™ve always tried to honor the divine dignity of the sick, the hungry and those oppressed by extreme poverty. Turns out the paths may end up in the same place. Asher Lev serves his faith in his painting.

Pomposity Level: Catorce. The greatest of all time at unjustifiably acting like the greatest of all time.

How Much Coverage Are You Worth? CJRā€™s Kyle Pope quantified Gwen Ifillā€™s ā€œmissing white woman syndromeā€ to create areyoupressworthy.com, where some basic demographic info will reveal whether anyone would care if you went missing. It tells me I would only earn sixteen news stories, but if I disappear youā€™ll make it a huge thing and launch multiple podcasts and get all the Tiktok sleuths involved and stuff right? I need you to do that for me. Maybe not now, maybe not ever, but be ready is all Iā€™m saying.

Also blogging again is Choire Sicha, who put on a clinic in media personality newslettering this morning. Announce your event, tell a couple breezy anecdotes, and dip. Itā€™s a masterpiece. Heā€™s doing a book event at McNally Jackson tonight. If you go, wear your Tabs T-shirt.

To-***ing-day in *******: Swearing is good for you, says science.

Sarah Moir wrote a characteristically exhaustive investigation of the question: ā€œWill we see prompt-based music generation?ā€ Whatā€™s the answer? I donā€™t know! Itā€™s like eight thousand words. Gentlemenā€™s Friday is no time to start this, Iā€™m saving it for the weekend. My personal guess is ā€œyes, definitely,ā€ based on nothing but pessimism. I canā€™t wait to see what Sarahā€™s much better-informed answer is.

I feel like there was something else going on... Oh, right! That. Techdirtā€™s Mike Masnick wrote the definitive content moderation speed-run, outlining all of the things that knucklehead at Twitter is about to learn. Or fail to learn, as may be. If you ever thought ā€œwhy canā€™t they justā€¦ moderate better?ā€ (and whomsā€™t among us, right?) this will tell you why. Also half of Twitter is probably going to be fired tomorrow. I make fun of the hellsite a lot but itā€™s the only social media I actually use so if you work there, listen: [EARNEST CAMERA TURN] this all sucks and I hope every one of you lands somewhere better. At least you wonā€™t have to put up with Elonā€™s bullshit anymore. And if you donā€™t get fired, maybe consider this?

Todayā€™s Song: Mannequin Pussy, ā€œControlā€

Is šŸ¦ the new šŸ¦€? Never. But is šŸŖ± the new šŸ¦‹? Maybe.ā€ÆThe subhed today is lifted directly from The Tab, ā„¢ ā„¢ ā„¢ that Tab, not this one. Paid post tomorrow for subscribers only: HOW TO DO CRIMES.

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