Shinigami Lies

Did the the scalable pixie dream girl hack Hipster Runoff? Also: who's dead today.

Did ‘the last relevant blog’ Hipster Runoff get ‘murked’ by international crime hax0r GRIMEZSZ in 2013, ”a baby voice goo goo gaa gaa-ing over some bleep bloop music” and “trying to be, like, all integrity” but outside the art-school-core spotlight of the ‘indie/blog scene’ actually P*t*r Th*il before Pe**r T*e*l was even P*t*r Th*el? Or is Grimis just telling the ‘alt-truth’/making content for the ‘scalable verticals’ and ‘scumbag aggregators’? Is Grimszs ‘stolen valor’-ing what Lana Del Rey actually pulled off from a ‘cyber-van’ down by the ‘world-wide river’? Are you more of a ‘Lizzie’ or a ‘Claire’? Is Grimess trying to ‘have her cake’ and ‘take bisexual credit for a 2012 tt smooch’ too? A decade later, is there any ‘indie celeb’ more scalable than Grimey? Was it a ‘good trade’?

Whoever did it, Carles is gone and now the wack rule the earth unchallenged. CEO of Goldman Sachs David Solomon will DJ at Lollapalooza 2022, and Bill Murray will team up again with his clothing line partner, softcore Barstool The Chive, to issue a bunch of NFTs of stories about the times he got drunk alone and crashed some poor rando’s wedding (I guess??). Is this finally the thing that will let us talk about Murray’s spousal abuse and lifelong history of trash behavior? Or nah.


Madeleine Albright, GIF creator Stephen Wilhite (a true legend whose last words were “actually I was wrong it’s pronounced with a hard g”), Clarence Thomas (secretly), but still not Henry Kissinger.

Big fish. ░P░o░n░d░e░r░i░n░g░ ░i░n░t░e░n░s░i░f░i░e░s░. The word-cloud for this WSJ story is like: “Ponzi scheme, shoot out, personal-injury lawsuits, private jet, improv comedian.” Former ADA Mark Pomerantz would like there to be no confusion over whether he thinks Donald Trump did crimes (he does). Also doing crimes: Mark and Debra Meadows. Of fraudulent voter Meadows’s claims of widespread voter fraud, Alex Pareene suggests we should “think of seemingly bizarre conservative claims about what liberals believe and do not as “lies” but as plans.” Teen reporter William Turton and British reporter Jordan Robertson join their Wonder Twin powers and allege that the LAPSUS$ hacking group’s mastermind is a British teen. Or is it Grimes? Max Howell, the creator of open source package manager Homebrew, is starting a new package manager project and this time (don’t say it, don’t say it) “we’re moving the package registry on-chain” (goddammit). I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Zaporizhia.

Today’s Song: Paramore, “Misery Business”

~ sail away to the cold expanse of tabs ~

Registered at the post office as “so great to see a virtuoso like @fka_tabs at the top of his game still reaching for new heights”

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