Today in Tabs

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Never Meta Face I Didn't Book

Is this anything?

Rusty Foster
Oct 28, 2021
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Never Meta Face I Didn't Book
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Off the Record finally has a website so here’s Andrew Fedorov on newsletter writers burning out from the grueling pace of two posts a week.

[Long beat. Uncomfortably long. Direct, unblinking eye contact. And… turn to CAM 2:]

But it’s true that writing a newsletter can be exhausting. It’s Tabs Friday and we’ve had a busy couple weeks, so what I have for you today is:

✨ A Bunch of Links, with No Particular Theme or Structure 💫

“Isn’t that just what Tabs is every day,” you ask? That’s interesting but no one asked for your opinion.

Mark Zuckerberg and his dead black eyes put viewers through a grueling and entirely fictional presentation of stuff you’d be excited about if you were a billionaire who just read “Ready Player One.” Facebook will now be a subsidiary of Meta, a company name no one will ever use, and Choire somehow had a post about it up before the announcement was even finished, writing that “Facebook does not allow nudity on its platforms and so it’s unclear how people will have weird sex in the metaverse.”

Mark Zuckerberg's shark eyes and a title card showing the new Meta company logo with an asterisk, and at the bottom “* no weird sex”

The Today Show boldly reached back to a movie so old it can legally drink to bring us the recipe for Kronk’s Spinach Puffs.

“Writers do reveal things they don't realize they're showing us, or even know they know, in their writing.” In Harper’s Bazaar, Molly Fisk wrote about the short story that her uncle John Updike wrote about her dead father, and there is a hell of a swerve in the middle of it.

E.J. Dickson: “An Instagram-Famous Piglet Just Came Out as an Anti-Vaxxer.”

Twitter avatar for @ejdickson
Ej Dickson @ejdickson
"Can you clarify Penny the Fire Pig's view of the vaccine mandate?" is a real sentence I wrote to a source asking for comment on this story
rollingstone.comAn Instagram-Famous Piglet Just Came Out as an Anti-VaxxerPenny has officially been Milkshake Pig’ed
3:43 PM ∙ Oct 28, 2021
35Likes8Retweets

A reader who understandably wishes to remain anonymous sent me an example of corporate cringe that might be worse than anything in yesterday’s Tabs. Here is the 2015 Gannett Executive Team with “Everything is Awesome.”

“IIRC, this was unveiled in the same meeting as the name of the new broadcast company that was spinning off from the newspaper company… in which the letters T-E-G-N-A spun out of the word GANNETT to form the new logo,” writes my source. Media, what a business! Speaking of which: G/O Media just deleted all the images from pre-2019 posts on “11 websites, including the former Gawker Media properties Gizmodo, Jalopnik, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, The Onion, and Jezebel,” reports Gawker’s Tarpley Hitt. RIP Mr. Autumn Man, murdered by Jim Spanfeller.

Celebs Are At It: Apparently Brian Cox talked some shit in his new book. “[Johnny Depp] is, is so overblown, so overrated.” He’s right and he should say it. Timothée Chalamet had an Xbox controller modding YouTube channel when he was 15, which Vice brought in OSINT experts from Bellingcat to laboriously prove before getting savagely front-run by Chalamet himself.

Twitter avatar for @jsngr
Jordan Singer @jsngr
everyone's trying to "hide the notch" so I made a Mac app called "Split Screen" to do just that:
Image
12:41 PM ∙ Oct 27, 2021
12,983Likes1,398Retweets

Some Millennials are suddenly uncool and the Times is on it.

The Longform podcast has an episode with Ben Smith which is interesting if you’re a giant nerd. He declines to say why he hasn’t divested his BuzzFeed options yet, oddly suggesting that’s a question for the Times to answer.

Kiwi Korner: It looks very likely that the New Zealand Bird of the Year will be a bat. “Actually, when you look at the number one and number two rankings, it’s not winning by a little. It’s winning by quite a lot.” Ha ha ha, suck it birds.

Twitter avatar for @Dirtmill
Another Derek @Dirtmill
My first AI-Generated music video, Lover, is here! (Full video in comments) Couldn't have done this without @chigozienri 's amazing Zooming VQGAN book, as well as the work of @advadnoun and @RiversHaveWings
1:20 PM ∙ Oct 13, 2021
102Likes16Retweets

Today’s Song: Beat Happening, “Indian Summer”

~ French tabs with molasses, croquet and Baked Alaskas ~

Today in Tabs is brought to you today almost entirely by stuff people posted in the subscriber Discord. Listen if other ‘sletterers are allowed to get burned out by two emails a week, I get a casual Thursday once in a while right? Never work harder than you absolutely must, my friends. Subscriber open thread tomorrow! Cash me in the metaverse.

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