- Today in Tabs
- Liveleak with Vivek
Liveleak with Vivek
Pobody's nerfect! 🤷♂️
Screaming in out of nowhere with a late but strong entry for worst tab of 2023 is nearly forgotten archetypal poison-pen socialite party reporter Sally Quinn in The Washington Post with “I’m not Jewish but I love my mezuzah.” You might think you know exactly how this is gonna go off the rails but in fact it begins off the rails in that way, with the Old Testament God of the Israelites protecting Sally Quinn’s unmentionables until her original Jewish “spiritual amulet” was lost and “things began to go awry.”
Yes, your culture is her costume. Anyway, her son found a family link to “a Sephardic Jewish physician” in the 1400s, which by Daughters of the American Revolution math is totally legitimate. But Quinn transcends the entire concept of rails, absolutely departs our consensus rails-based reality, when she starts to consider who is the real victim of the war in Gaza, and who might be in the crosshairs of the Ivy League’s fanatical Hamas contingent.1
The next sentence mentions that Quinn “graduated at the bottom of her class at Smith.” Bradlee left his then-wife for Quinn by 1973, and they married in 1978. Pobody’s nerfect! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Like all newsletterers I desperately wish I could never mention Elon Musk again, but we all have to suffer in our assigned hell so it’s my regrettable duty to pass along the news that this weekend Musk got over that whole “firstborn child died in my arms” peccadillo and reinstated Alex Jones’ account on his white supremacist website, X dot com. Musk and Jones celebrated by having a Twitter Space with the Tate brothers, Matt Gaetz, and their whole associated clown car of fascists, where the high point was Republican Presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy taking a leak with his mic on. John Herrman considered five theories of what Musk might be trying to do with his white supremacist website X dot com:
And Linette Lopez looked back at Musk circa 2018, “when he nearly flew Tesla into a mountain” to explain the vigorous public meltdown we’re seeing now. “He may find a way to ward off calamity, as he did then,” argues Lopez, “but this jam is much tighter than the last one.”
Like Vivek, Tucker Carlson also launched a streaming service. Tucker Plus (formerly HBO Max) sounds like a great replacement for your current media subscriptions. George Santos kept making unhinged Cameos and possibly recorded an interview with Ziwe. “Rumors are flying” about Eric Adams indictments but before you get too excited, consider who is most likely to replace him. Kelsey Weekman wrote about “slang overload,” and I am begging anyone who can’t handle “rizz” to read a single P.G. Wodehouse book. Jason Koebler: A “Russian Economist” arrived at LAX from… nowhere. Then who was plane? David Roth’s weird sandwich. And I don’t know what he’s saying, but this German priest’s flow is legit:
From The Archive: Gabriella Paiella’s classic “Oral History of the Folger’s Incest Ad” from GQ in December, 2019. Not technically from the archive because Tabs was on hiatus then, but it definitely would have been in the archive.
That is why we’re talking, yes.
Today’s Song: Goldfrapp, “Twist”
It’s the last week before the holiday break and listen, I promise never to lie to you unless it’s fun so I’ll say up front I am not gonna try very hard this week. If you want to lock in that “I’ve been a paying subscriber since 2023” cred, get on it quick.