Legs Are Coming Soon
Laurie Penny met the “luckless political grifters” left behind after the Conservative Party’s self-destruction:
“So what,” I ask one junior MP with a gorgeous navy suit and the appalling luck to be volunteered for this panel, “actually is the Conservative consensus?” He does not ask if I’m a reporter, nor does he care. He gives me a kamikaze grin. and says, in an accent that could engrave silver: “Basically, we’re all screwed.”
Tired of Elon Musk yet? Too bad, the gavage continues: “Elon Musk Has the World’s Strangest Social Calendar” reports Jacob Bernstein. Who is this story for?
Jack Mirkinson in Discourse: “Henry Kissinger Is Right There: Angela Lansbury Edition.” Not wanting to live to see legs (which are coming soon), Dame Angela retired from life as gracefully as she did everything else. In her memory, please enjoy “The Formula For An Episode Of Murder, She Wrote.”
JESSICA:
Oh, it was quite simple, really. The moss. When I saw you at the funeral earlier, the camera focused weirdly on a piece of moss on your shoe. I happened to remember that this moss only grows in one place in the world, the crime scene, and it only sticks to murderers…SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
I regret stepping in the murder moss.
There’s still more Elon Musk, open wider for the funnel please. Now he’s supposedly personally shutting off Starlink in Crimea? But maybe the whole story is based on Musk lying to Ian Bremmer in Aspen in the first place? Legs cannot come soon enough.
Exactly when did Lil Yachty take the wock to Poland? An investigative report, by Justin Curto. Did someone take the wock to the Druzhba oil pipeline, in Poland? Perhaps, or perhaps not. But NASA took the wock to Dimorphos, speeding up its orbit by 32 minutes in humanity’s first successful celestial boop.
Claire Carusillo: (Legs) They always come crawlin’ back (soon)
In any meaningful sense, all “u up?” texts are a They always come crawlin’ back.
The United States and Great Britain’s friendly allyship 225 years after the colonies gained independence from King George III? They always come crawlin’ back.
J.Lo and Ben Affleck? They always come crawlin’ back.
Gawker, the website? They always come crawlin’ back.
Microsoft Teams is also coming soon, in case you thought legs were going to save you. Buddy there aren’t enough legs in the universe.
Today in Threads: What did machines have for UI before they invented the button? This thread has such sights to show you.
Today’s Song: PJ Harvey, “Legs”
~ tabs are coming soon ~
Are you excited? 🎉