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Legs Are Coming Soon

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Legs Are Coming Soon

Legs? Are coming soon?

Rusty Foster
Oct 12, 2022
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Legs Are Coming Soon

www.todayintabs.com

ᴸᵉᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᶦⁿᵍ ˢᵒᵒⁿ

Laurie Penny met the “luckless political grifters” left behind after the Conservative Party’s self-destruction:

“So what,” I ask one junior MP with a gorgeous navy suit and the appalling luck to be volunteered for this panel, “actually is the Conservative consensus?” He does not ask if I’m a reporter, nor does he care. He gives me a kamikaze grin. and says, in an accent that could engrave silver: “Basically, we’re all screwed.”

lEgS aRe CoMiNg SoOn

Tired of Elon Musk yet? Too bad, the gavage continues: “Elon Musk Has the World’s Strangest Social Calendar” reports Jacob Bernstein. Who is this story for?

Apu leaping in front of Homer Simpson from the "weird nerds" Elon Musk meme.
Oh.

Jack Mirkinson in Discourse: “Henry Kissinger Is Right There: Angela Lansbury Edition.” Not wanting to live to see legs (which are coming soon), Dame Angela retired from life as gracefully as she did everything else. In her memory, please enjoy “The Formula For An Episode Of Murder, She Wrote.”

JESSICA:
Oh, it was quite simple, really. The moss. When I saw you at the funeral earlier, the camera focused weirdly on a piece of moss on your shoe. I happened to remember that this moss only grows in one place in the world, the crime scene, and it only sticks to murderers…

SOMEONE’S WIFE, YOU FORGET WHOSE:
I regret stepping in the murder moss.

A screengrab from the 1993 Murder, She Wrote episode “A Virtual Murder” showing Angela Lansbury’s Jessica Fletcher in VR gloves and goggles. She is saying “Legs?????” while from offscreen someone answers “They’re coming soon ma’am”
Twitter avatar for @NoahGarfinkel
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel
I grew up in Cabot Cove, and a lot of us feel she exploited our massive murder problem for profit. Maybe keep that in mind.
8:15 PM ∙ Oct 11, 2022
12,978Likes1,076Retweets

There’s still more Elon Musk, open wider for the funnel please. Now he’s supposedly personally shutting off Starlink in Crimea? But maybe the whole story is based on Musk lying to Ian Bremmer in Aspen in the first place? Legs cannot come soon enough.

A screenshot of the title and hero image from the Loudwire story “Someone Crowdsurfed a Baby Over to Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Onstage” by Chad Childers. It has a big picture of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson onstage, gently accepting a baby from the crowd with a huge smile, and in a word balloon he’s telling the baby: “Legs are coming soon”
Legs are always coming soon, if you’re a baby.

Exactly when did Lil Yachty take the wock to Poland? An investigative report, by Justin Curto. Did someone take the wock to the Druzhba oil pipeline, in Poland? Perhaps, or perhaps not. But NASA took the wock to Dimorphos, speeding up its orbit by 32 minutes in humanity’s first successful celestial boop.

Twitter avatar for @MNateShyamalan
nate of the living dead @MNateShyamalan
this came to me in a dream
Image
9:21 PM ∙ Oct 5, 2022
16,699Likes1,384Retweets

Claire Carusillo: (Legs) They always come crawlin’ back (soon)

In any meaningful sense, all “u up?” texts are a They always come crawlin’ back.

The United States and Great Britain’s friendly allyship 225 years after the colonies gained independence from King George III? They always come crawlin’ back.

J.Lo and Ben Affleck? They always come crawlin’ back.

Gawker, the website? They always come crawlin’ back.

Gif of Krusty the Clown from the Ribwich Simpsons episode, wiggling his clown fingers and saying “Legs are coming soon”

Microsoft Teams is also coming soon, in case you thought legs were going to save you. Buddy there aren’t enough legs in the universe.

Today in Threads: What did machines have for UI before they invented the button? This thread has such sights to show you.

Twitter avatar for @poppy_haze
Rev. Spooky Haze @poppy_haze
Oh btw, if you’re wondering what the first commercially sold typewriter looked like, you are not prepared for the 1870 Hansen Writing Ball
A mechanism holding a paper on a curved cylindrical mount surmounted by a ludicrous brass hemisphere covered in brass punches with letters and numbers on it like a pincushion but for writing
9:45 PM ∙ Oct 11, 2022
717Likes140Retweets

Today’s Song: PJ Harvey, “Legs”

~ tabs are coming soon ~

Are you excited? 🎉

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