Justice for Jorts

The lowest and most shameful form of content aggregation is linking to Reddit threads. That said: “AITA for ‘enforcing an ethnic stereotype’ by joking that orange cats are often dumb?” The tale of dimwitted orange cat Jorts and his caring but misguided coworker Pam is the only thing you really need to see today. Once you’ve read the initial question please continue to the UPDATE, which is where everyone really loses it. There’s already a twitter account and… it’s not bad? Feels like I just torched several years of credibility in this paragraph.

Other Updates:

• Web3 is going just great, by Molly White.

• The Bad Art Meal Discourse continues, with Geraldine DeRuiter replying to the Bros bro’s reply to her delicious roast of his disgusting foam: The next phase will start when someone investigates this tweet and gets the Bros bro fully canceled for running an abusive workplace. Stay tuned!

• “Eric Adams and Just His Mattress Are Moving to Gracie Mansion:” It’s hard to believe Eric Adams isn’t even officially mayor yet, but Clio Chang reports that he’s “bringing the energy of all four of the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to the city’s historic mayoral home.”

• Steph Curry broke the career three pointer record last night, and Dell was there to get his cholesterol checked.

• Today in Crabs: Rust Lang Edition

• Oh, ah:

• NASA spacecraft hurls itself into the sun, cruelly leaving the rest of us behind.

• Wildfire Today reports in from 2012:This is a lot of attitude for a post that’s just a big quote of Brianna Sacks’ original reporting!

• Bloomberg reports on COVID pushing the hospital system to collapse in Kentucky, or as The Atlantic calls it, “distant Myanmar.”

• 30-50 feral hogs “invade Southeast Texas neighborhood.” You’ll never guess how long it took.

• D.C. access-arbitrage newsletter Punchbowl partied with a bunch of lobbyists at the Washington Football Team game this weekend, reports Alexander Sammon in The American Prospect. It’s not that surprising for an outlet started by people who found Politico intolerably ethical. Maybe they were celebrating their successful murder of Build Back Better.

• Vice: NFTs are tearing the Crazy Frog community apart:

Finally: “Every so often, you get a reminder that Weird Sony is still alive and well,” writes Chris Welch in The Verge, reviewing Sony’s new bong.

Today’s Song: Charli XCX, “Good Ones [Perfume Genius Remix]”

~Tabs can only be understood backwards; but they must be read forwards.~ 

Jort Sort is the one true jort. I tweet @fka_tabs. Send Polly and me your questions. Run through a field of wildflowers. Loosen your shoulders. There will always be someone with more abilities in newsletter than my own as there will be those with less.