- Today in Tabs
- Bad News About Henry Kissinger
Bad News About Henry Kissinger
Videogrep killed the radiogrep
The body of Henry Kissinger was discovered in Davos, Switzerland yesterday, unfortunately still alive and urging the world’s rich and powerful to be nice to one of his fellow war criminals, Vladimir Putin, reports The Telegraph’s Ambrose Evans-Pritchard. Kissinger, an architect of death and suffering on a world-historical scale who wears the flesh of a kindly Opa over the blood drenched void where his soul should be, suggested that:
Unprovoked military invasion, mass rape, and the murder of children apparently aren’t acts that might create “tensions that will not be easily overcome” for Kissinger, who has certainly overcome his responsibility for worse.
Also Today in Terrible People: if you’ve been avoiding the hideous circus around the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard trial but you would like one relatively short and correct explanation of what the hell is going on, Jessica Winter wrote it for The New Yorker dot com.
In Mel, Miles Klee reports that the fascist-adjacent women of the TERF movement have discovered that the men of the fascist right are simply using them for political expedience, and don’t actually value any women, trans or otherwise. Whom’s’t could have predicted. And like a bad neighbor, State Farm is only there when it needs something from you.
Salamanders in a wind tunnel. Turbine-building robots. Woody Harrelson “doesn't believe in the germ theory.” Does cold water cure anxiety? “In Britain, wild swimming is like sex. Sometimes it’s a bit crap, but doing it matters less than cultivating a reputation as someone who does.” Is the arachnid trade in the furry pocket of Big Spider? “98% of species can be traded with no overarching regulations…” Forget it Jake, it’s Flavortown. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” ask John Fetterman’s voters. CJR profiled NYT Pitchbot. Here’s why that’s bad news for Joe Biden. Dragon of Death: a flying reptile the size of a giraffe that invented hunting from the air. Videogrep killed the radiogrep. And via Garbage Ryan and D.J. Cummerbund, a cross-generational banger:
Crypto is a way to take a normal thing and apply advanced technology to make it suck. For example, hotels are trying to make reservations into NFTs so instead of cancelling for a refund you now have the obligation to resell the reservation yourself. WeWork’s megalomaniacal ex-founder Adam Neumann, funded by Egg & Co, is using the blockchain to turn environmentalism into bullshit with the “Goddess Nature Token.” Previous projects in this vein have flooded the market with worthless carbon credits. And a scammer might have saved us all from Seth Green using NFTs to make the low budget “buddies hanging out” YouTube genre suck even worse. As Adi Robertson points out, the idea that stealing Green’s apes means he no longer holds their copyright is probably nonsense, but we can all hope he doesn’t know that. The preview looks awful, but thanks to crime this might be the first and last we see of it:
.@SethGreen new trailer for his new show, keep your eyes peeled👀
— FFV (@FFVV1211)
May 21, 2022
Das ist eine Biens?
me: ok yeah you can make some refried beans but you HAVE to be chill about it. if my weird german neighbor hears you he's going to make you share
the girl i brought over: Haha you're so funny (opening can)
voice from outside the window: Oh! Das ist eine Biens?
— (doctor) Alex Grease (@dodgonkulator)
May 24, 2022
Today’s Song: Neutral Milk Hotel, “Communist Daughter”
~ tabs careening from the clouds, the bridges burst and twist around ~