Is Cube the New Orb?


Many people are asking: is Cube the new Orb? The answer is no. Orb is full of wisdom, Cube is not even full of chocolate. Orb contains intangible truths about the future. Matt Levine: is Cube intangible?

No, in the sense that a cube of gold is a pretty literal solid physical object that is worth a lot of money just in materials. Yes, in the sense that the security guards will not let you touch it.

Orb replaced Old Cube. New Cube is just a hollow shell for another crypto scam. And speaking of a hollow shell for another crypto scam,1 Joel Stein has an incredible story on The Miami Movement in Financial Times (you can click through the headline here if you don’t have an FT subscription).

The last time Miami was relevant, it wasn’t important. In the 1980s, Miami provided nothing more than drugs, clubs, pastel blazers, jai alai gambling and, most notably, a hit TV show about all four.

But now Miami is the most important city in America. Not because Miami stopped being a frivolous, regulation-free, climate-doomed tax haven dominated by hot microcelebrities. It became the most important city in America because the country became a frivolous, regulation-free, climate-doomed tax haven dominated by hot microcelebrities.

Seems like people who can move to Miami and buy a $25 million home are having a pretty good time in Miami! Stick around for Billy Corben near the end, it’s worth every second you have to spend with crypto-sewage like Keith Rabois.

But up north, New York is awash with cryptic sewage2 reports a new paper in Nature, “Tracking cryptic SARS-CoV-2 lineages detected in NYC wastewater.” Apparently the mice, the rats, and the alligators are down there passing COVID around and breeding new super-strains. Look I just skimmed the paper, it may not actually say that, but it feels true right? Well that was apparently a good enough scientific standard for formerly beloved racist E.O. Wilson, who spent much of his career supporting and promoting the calipers brigade according to Stacy Farina and Matthew Gibbons’s review of his letters. If there’s a market, now’s the time to short futures on E.O. Wilson’s reputation.

At four letters and six letters, Luke Winkie isn’t a Wordle, man, but he is a Wordle man. QAnon Mom falls out of conspiracy wormhole and into a community Wordle hole. Also falling out of a Wormhole: $325 million in ETH, stolen with the technical equivalent of a cross-site scripting attack that exploited a bug which had been patched in Github but not deployed to the blockchain yet. If you don’t understand instantly why all of that is a huge problem, don’t put money in crypto. And if you do understand, you don’t need me to tell you not to put money in crypto.

What’s Out: Roxane Gay from Spotify (but not Substack). Also India Arie and Graham Nash (Crosby & Stills pending), and the possibility of Spotify employees taking pride in their company, according to CEO Daniel Ek. Jeff Zucker from CNN (but why now?). Rudy from America’s most dystopian TV show “The Masked Singer,” along with Robin Thicke and Ken Jeong (briefly). About a quarter of Meta’s stock value (Facebook is now pivoting to video, lmao). New radio-wave images of the “noise and chaos” at the heart of our galaxy, and SushiSwap’s technical leadership, leaving noise and chaos at the heart of the platform’s Discord server which it “has lost admin access to.” And finally, taking three syllables to say ENN EFF TEE is out, because it’s pronounced “neft.”

What’s In: Frackwear.

Finally: Narrative Device takes two themes and writes the first paragraph of a story from them.

Today’s Song: Hole, “Violet”

~ tab what thou wilt ~

A hole is a kind of inverse orb right? @fka_tabs is the hole I throw my tweets in. Gil Assayas drew the DragonQuest logo in MIDI and it actually sounds great. Sorry I was writing this sign-off and I saw that and got totally distracted, I don’t know what else I was going to say. Oh yeah Today in Polly for subscribers tomorrow!

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