Happy Labor Day

My "You Can Always Quit" t-shirt is raising a lot of questions about when you can quit, which are answered by my t-shirt.

It’s Labor Day in America, the day we try not working to see if it feels better than working, and then make the wrong choice about which one to stick with. But deep underground in the Today in Tabs high-energy merchandise research bunker we have been working tirelessly for nearly a year to make one young woman’s dream come true, and I’m glad to announce that we’ve finally done it.

The Lore

On October 22nd of last year, in the second issue of the Tabs x Ask Polly crossover newsletter-within-a-newsletter Today in Polly, I wrote this advice to someone who found their dreams crushed under Tim Apple’s cruel retail thumb:

All the time I hear people whining “I can’t quit because I have to ‘buy food’ and ‘not die‘,” or whatever, and I know it’s hard but I want to get this idea in front of everyone in big letters right now:

You can always quit!

In fact if you’re thinking “I can’t quit” that’s basically proof that you must quit.

To which Polly responded:

I actually like your advice better. Quitting is one of my only superpowers, I am a huge quitter, and “you can always quit!" is evergreen. I need a t-shirt that says that. Rusty for the win. 

To my recollection that was the only time that she admitted I won a question. But more importantly, she planted the seed of an idea which has now grown into a full idea-tree and born fruit of the loom in the form of the first ever official Today in Tabs apparel.

The Very Limited Edition “You Can Always Quit” T-Shirt

She just quit, looks pretty chill huh? (Photo by Tabs Photography Intern Ash Ponders)

At long last, the logo that Tabs Senior Junior Graphics Intern Garrett Miller designed has been expertly screen-printed by skilled craftspeople in Los Angeles onto American-made 100% cotton t-shirts in a wide range of two colors including white and black and excluding anything else.

Listen: the white ink is puffy. The clouds? They’re actually puffy. This is next level merch. There are surprises and details I am not even telling you about, because I know how delighted you’ll be to discover them yourself.

Tabs photo intern Ash Ponders bought a clothes steamer for this shoot. No detail has been overlooked, no expense has been spared.

How Can You Get One?

There are not a lot of these shirts available, and this is the only time I’m printing them, so sales will open up in the following order.

Today, September 5th, 5:00pm US Eastern time: I’ll drop a presale link in the Tabs subscriber Discord. If you’re a paid subscriber and you want to make sure you get a t-shirt, pop in to the Discord or scroll down below for a link to join it. Then keep an eye out at 5:00 this afternoon.

Tomorrow, September 6th: The store link will be included in the first Tabs of Season Seven, but for paid subscribers only.

At Some Point After That: When I feel like all the paid subscribers have gotten a fair shot at a t-shirt if they want one, and if there are still some left, I’ll open it up to everyone. You get it, right? Yeah, you get it. I’ve been promising paid subscribers exclusive merch for like, a year now. I gotta give them first dibs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

She really needs to quit. (Photo by Tabs Photography Intern Ash Ponders)

That’s it! Season Seven starts tomorrow, and if you’d like to be sure you get a t-shirt, subscribe now or just scroll a bit more for the Discord link.

You know what he should do. (Photo by Tabs Photography Intern Ash Ponders)