Did you know the Facebook Oversight Board ruled on Donald Trump’s ban yesterday? You did if you read the New York Times, where it was covered by Kevin Roose, Cecilia Kang, Mike Isaac, Nick Corasaniti and Shane Goldmacher, Cecilia Kang again, Shira Ovide in the tech newsletter, David Leonhardt in the morning newsletter, Kara Swisher (text), Kara Swisher (audio), Times Video, The Daily, the Letters page, a guessay by Will Oremus, and Greg Somebody from Opinion.
The zone was so flooded you can see the struggle to come up with unique URL slugs, giving us articles at: facebook-trump-ban.html, trump-facebook-ban.html, facebook-donald-trump-ban.html, facebook-trump-ban-upheld.html, trump-facebook-oversight-board.html, facebook-oversight-board-trump.html (from 05/05), facebook-oversight-board-trump.html (from 05/06), facebook-oversight-trump-jan-6.html, trump-facebook-ruling.html and a few creative outliers like facebook-oversight-board-decision-reaction.html.
This event somehow even spawned a profile of Nick Clegg, like an incredibly rare and fragile subatomic particle spiraling out of a supercollider, only to disappear again when no one is interested in it. All this, and only one story about the pregnant mummy.
Believer features editor Camille Bromley delivered the Josh Wolf Shenk story I’ve been publicly thirsting after all week, in Defector. She reports the New York Times investigated the original Zoom incident in February and passed, “due to a lack of newsworthiness.“ We miss you more every day, Gawker. She also writes:
This was the first we were hearing about a bathtub, and several other details in the [L.A. Times] article seemed to be acting as convenient distractions; for instance, the “mesh shirt” Shenk was supposedly wearing had appeared on screen to be a normal-looking white t-shirt.
It’s both smart and well-written, but also oddly lacking in other sources, which was the problem with the L.A. Times story too? I guess everyone very gradually gets their own single-serving article about this mess.
Canceled Cinnamon Toast Shrimp guy’s wife Topanga is pregnant. I can’t wait to see what comes out. Sarah Jeong wonders “Are the royals going to vlog?” and it’s not the royals you probably think. British magazine The Fence collected some of the (ostensibly) worst pitches ever, about half of which I would love to see written. Keith Kurson on pioneering micropayments in the early virtual pet game Subeta: "sorry I'm 13 and figuring this out!!" Blackbird Spyplane collected all the profound essays from their first year in the truthfully named Blackbird Spyplane Profound Essay Archive. A Brooklyn four year old hit the jackpotsicle. New cloud cool. New worm gross. “Gen Z Is Bringing Emo Back, But This Time It’s Not Just A Bunch Of White Dudes,” reports BuzzFeed’s news intern Pauline Woodley.
Also bringing pop-punk back, in the form of knitting with pet hair, is Intern Tess.
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Every few years the topic of knitting with pet hair surfaces in my social media. I’m not sure if it’s my personal algorithm or a universal experience, but there is apparently at least one other poor soul who’s caught in this unsettling predicament, and hinting at even worse badger-related torments to come. This time there are a few well-actually replies, but also some nuance to be found in the recurring discussion: it’s kind of sweet, and also is anything really homemade if it doesn’t have something gross in it? It really makes you think, particularly about how great it is that outerwear season is ending.
No one on Twitter likes being made to think, but Twitter has launched a new feature that attempts it anyway, trying to prevent mean replies by adding an extra click before you can tell someone exactly where to shove their Beagle-fur scarf. I keep hearing the prompt in a Pulp “I can’t see anyone else smiling in here...are you sure?” voice. Users were predictably eager to test it out for themselves:
This is part of a larger effort to de-incentivize “anger, harassment, jealousy” or any other normal reason to use Twitter, and arrives at the same time as a tweak to photo cropping that will effectively kill the open-for-a-surprise meme. It’s as if they think we’re paranoid, anxious and cranky! But they’re wrong. We’re doing just fine out here. Just fine. We’ll show them how ABSOLUTELY fine we are. We’ll show them all.
Intern Tess has been stomping around the office and muttering darkly to herself all morning, I guess now we know why.
Today’s Songs: It’s Thursday, lfg. First, Pinkshift, “Mars”
Then, new Modest Mouse, “We are Between”
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Happy Thursday! I’m gonna start sending most of the Friday open thread emails to subscribers only, so if you like the shorter, looser Friday emails, make sure you subscribe to keep getting them. If you follow me on Twitter I promise I won’t talk about knitting with pet hair. Intern Tess Lynch might, though. No promises. See you tomorrow in the 💬 or Monday in the Tabs.