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Dispatch From the Chip Wars
www.todayintabs.com

Dispatch From the Chip Wars

Also, unfortunately, the actual wars.

Rusty Foster
Nov 11, 2021
14
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Dispatch From the Chip Wars
www.todayintabs.com

Programming Note: Tabs will be off next week so I can take care of some non-Tabs stuff and have a bit of a break, and honestly today’s newsletter is kind of thin. Ideally I wouldn’t have put these two things so close together but that’s just how it happened. If you’re a subscriber I’ll see you in the Open Thread tomorrow, and if not, have a nice third week of November and Tabs will return on the 22nd.


LIVERPOOL — The chip wars rage on today, as Wetherspoons customer Harry Tayler, 22, clings to the nearly hopeless position that his alleged 13.4 inch “biggest chip I’ve ever seen” is real, under a withering barrage of scorn from assembled anti-chipista forces. Just weeks after the Mumford massacre, which saw punter Sam Mumford’s supposed “18.5in-long monster” also “rubbished by angry sceptics,” the streets of Liverpool continue to run brown with chip fat, and there’s no sign of peace in sight.

frog
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Unfortunately the chip war is not the only war. Reuters’ Poppy McPherson and Shoon Naing have an incredible report from inside the resistance in Myanmar, where regular Instagram-posting 20-somethings are heading to jungle training camps to fight the military junta.

Twitter avatar for @MarvinDeux
“M a r v” (Fuck You) @MarvinDeux
Brian Williams leaves NBC under a hail of enemy gunfire
2:40 PM ∙ Nov 10, 2021
63Likes7Retweets

Facebook patented turning all nouns into advertising. Crypto is haram in Indonesia. How do you know if a crowd is about to kill you? Kyle Rittenhouse is gonna go free because his lawyer said “logarithms.” Universal Music Group wonders “what if Gorillaz, but awful?” Like him or not, you can’t deny that Tim Robinson keeps yelling bad things into existence, so coffin flops are real now I guess. Luke Winkie explains that “men lack the emotional availability, social contract and the freedom of spirit to establish new friendships in the wild,” and the only answer is podcasts. Mailchimp employees shocked at how screwed they are, part XXIV:

Employees told Insider they discovered their MailChimp health benefits were abruptly terminated Sunday. Some employees also found out last week that their total pay as Intuit employees may be less, multiple employees said.

Never trust a capitalist. Or a cop, as this shocking update from Houston demonstrates:

Twitter avatar for @BrianEntin
Brian Entin @BrianEntin
Houston Police chief says they located the security guard who they initially heard was pricked in the neck — and he says no one injected him. He says he was punched - not injected. It was bad info chief says.
9:41 PM ∙ Nov 10, 2021
11,715Likes1,961Retweets

I guess narcan also works if you overdose on knuckles? More research is needed.

Ben Smith and Ben Protess report that Ozy is under federal investigation. In Vice, Tim Marchman wrote about Smith’s continuing conflicts of interest involving BuzzFeed and the News Guild. As usual, Smith refers questions to the Times and the Times refuses to say anything.

Something Awful founder Richard “lowtax” Kyanka has died. Here’s the news on Slashdot, where no one seems to know who he was anymore. In 2020, following allegations of domestic abuse, he sold the bulletin board he had founded in 1999 and was subsequently banned from it. His work was influential in internet culture, which is now just “culture,” in bad ways as well as very bad ways. I didn’t know him or spend any time at SA, so I will leave it to the Goons themselves to express how they feel.

Twitter avatar for @QualiaRedux
Qualia Redux @QualiaRedux
If you want to know who Lowtax was, imagine a community of 1,000 very funny people. Then imagine 200,000 additional people who are also there. Now imagine that community had a horrible landlord.
3:33 AM ∙ Nov 11, 2021
526Likes92Retweets

It’s Veteran’s Day, and here’s a Canadian project selling the names of Canada’s war dead as NFTs. I think that’s my signal to wrap it up! Matt Levine wrote about Elon Musk selling stock, the Trump SPAC, and Ozy, so if you have the whole day off you might be able to get through it.

Twitter avatar for @carolynmain
C$ @carolynmain
Finally made this meme thats been in my head
Image
1:59 AM ∙ Nov 11, 2021
19,486Likes4,150Retweets

Today’s Song: Sega Bodega, “I Need Nothing From You”

Twitter avatar for @108
tim rogers @108
yes, i'm saying the entire climate of NFTs is basically on the exact same level as the word "spoopy". i don't feel like taking any further questions lmao
7:45 PM ∙ Nov 11, 2021
139Likes11Retweets

Hey if you subscribe, you get an invite to the Tabs Discord, which honestly rules. Before it’s in Tabs it’s almost always in the Discord. Plus there’s more Clay Shirky than you were probably expecting. If you miss me next week, I’m either in the Discord or @fka_tabs. One of those is free but it’s also accurately called “the Hellsite” so only you can say what the best choice is for yourself.

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