Jeff Bezos’s rocket company already awarded Jeff Bezos, his brother Jeff Bezos: the Porn Parody, Grandma Funk and Space Chad the Blue Origin™ Jeff Bezos Pin for Good Rocket Space Flying Hooray 🚀, but the F.A.A., a serious federal agency tasked with the gimlet-eyed evaluation of aeronautical pin-worthiness, has changed the federal space pin rules to read “* except for Jeff Bezos,” so the smaller Bezos and co. will have to settle for pins from The Association of Space Explorers, a gang of extraterrestrial hooligans who will apparently stick a pin on anything that wanders into the thermosphere. Meanwhile, come on down to Crazy Jeffy’s Rocket Shack & Moon Lander Emporium’s HUGE $2 BILLION OFF sale, and if you order a moon lander in the next 37 minutes, we’ll throw in a test launch to low-Earth orbit ABSOLUTELY FREE! Act now, these prices are so low they should be a crime!1
The Fence: Why Are You Asking Me This?
I’m tired of being a video editor without a team, as most of our video producers were laid off during the height of the pandemic last year. I’m tired of trying to juggle life in one of the world’s most expensive cities (which remains a requirement for this job) with the needs of my family. I’m tired of watching so many talented writers, editors, producers, and managers slip through our grasp because it’s not worth it to stay. And I’m tired of trying to convince the people who own this company that what they have is something incredible, and that it’s incredible because of the people who work here.
Recurrent Ventures bought Futurism, that site you saw once when the Times made a CMS mistake, bringing Foster Kamer under the same corporate roof as MEL’s Miles Klee, and further cementing Recurrent’s leadership in the Horny Media Guys segment. No word yet on whether they have also acquired the nearly one dozen issues of the FosterTalk newsletter.
The New York Times hired Bloomberg’s Peter Coy and at-large’s Jay Caspian Kang to work on the newsletter project that Choire recently fled to work on NYMag’s newsletters instead. NBC, having proven that it has no idea how to manage a high profile streaming event, is “adding 200+ jobs as part of major streaming push” which may last up to two years before NBCU pivots to V.R. or the A.I. 8K+5G ecosystem or whatever. Dying audio app Clubhouse announced it will change its name on Thursday. Maybe the new name will be “CHILLING.” (Can says it’s “First” which is a great name if you want to be impossible to Google.) [Update: I goofed, this is the other Clubhouse changing its name. Oops!] And the New Yorker has a Tabs-ey new trivia game called Name Drop.
Michelangelo touched a butt (maybe).
Today in Despair: “I’m a Parkland Shooting Survivor. QAnon Convinced My Dad It Was All a Hoax.” And 1,000 current and former staff publicly agree that Activision Blizzard is just the worst.
I guess in terms of size? I would say the horse is big.
Today’s Song: Billie Eilish, “NDA”
~one of the world’s largest tabs~
These low prices may actually be a crime.