Soon May the Dillermand Come

Please don't think about that title too much.

Well, it’s still March again.

It has never not been March again, still.

Still: again we march.

Nothing feels completely real to me today, and the tabs are not helping. In Denmark they have a kids show called John Dillermand, about a middle aged man in a red and white striped bathing suit with, says Kathryn Wu in The Atlantic, “an absurdly long, prehensile penis” that’s also candy-cane striped, like if Where’s Waldo was a willy. You can watch the show yourself. I can’t imagine it’ll make less sense than anything else does now.

I didn’t watch the Golden Globes but whether you did or not, treat yourself to Rachel Handler’s appropriately chaotic recap for Vulture. A couple lines at random:

In the middle of the show, Sean Penn showed up onstage in what can only be loosely described as hair…

Nobody seemed to know what, if anything, was appropriate to consume or export — should they take shots, à la David Fincher, or should they not take shots, like everybody else?

What’s Going on in Canada?

A “surly seal” was arrested in Charlottetown, P.E.I., looking for soft butter. That’s it.

Today in Things You Can Buy:

SSH into your browser tab and get a REPL (from the creator of TabFS). AI QWOP speedrun. New shruggie dropped ¯\_(°ペ)_/¯. CrossFit disavows Marjorie Taylor Greene. What is the “starting a new account on Gab” of culty gyms? Speaking of Gab, it got hacked. Lol. Donald McNeil is writing a four part series on Medium about being fired from the NY Times. When has a four part series about being cancelled ever gone wrong? Speaking of Gimlet, artist and audio producer James T. Green wrote a post about his two tours as a contractor there that sheds a lot of light on the podcast company’s recent troubles, and the exploitative business model of startups in general. How I cut GTA Online loading times by 70%. I had a guess at the beginning of this but it was so much worse than I imagined. C. Brandon Ogbunu in Wired: Clubhouse Cured My Imposter Syndrome. Get ready for the next predictable catastrophes.

Today’s Song: King Missile, “Detachable Penis”

~ ¯\_(°ペ)_/¯ ~

Thanks again to Senior Contributing Editor Bijan Stephen for filling in last week. Yeah I saw the David Brooks thing. And the recipe app thing. It’s already always March again, still. We can just let those pass.