- Today in Tabs
- A Productive Chotining
A Productive Chotining
We got jokes.
The news has been pretty grim so I don’t know how many jokes I have today. I guess there was the DC anti-vax trucker protest, which “Turn[ed] Out to Be a Complete Joke” according to The Daily Beast’s Zachary Petrizzo (who was approximately 8% of the attendees). The event went off without a hitch—and I mean without a trailer hitch, because no trucks showed up.
Dennis Miller’s career arc has taken him from telling jokes to being one, but even he has quit his show on Russian state TV network RT. As they say, when you’ve lost Dennis Miller, you’ve lost nothing much. Here he is busting out a hot Groupon reference in our present year of the double deuce:
The biggest joke in international currency exchange is the ruble, which Ryan noted is worth less than either Roblox’s in-game currency Robucks or Hearthstone gold, and is also getting trounced by Dogecoin. BuzzFeed’s sex number bureau chief Katie Nicetopoulos pointed out the “not-surprising yet surprising-considering-the-context amount of donations in the number of 420 or 69 Doge” made to Ukraine’s Doge wallet. There is a real possibility that we’re watching a war partly funded by shitcoins and an NFT “based on a mythology in which Elon Musk was granted genius powers by an alien” which isn’t quite a joke but is definitely not not a joke.
Lauren Boebert is the biggest joke in Congress. Ancient social media joke Facebook reported that the most widely viewed page on the site was removed for “violating Community Standards,” but won’t say what the page was, in the name of “transparency.” Ryan has good analysis of that too. Listen Garbage Day is a banger today and I will not compare myself with my colleagues. If they do newsletter beautifully, I will enjoy it and be thankful and proud that I live in fellowship with them. The New York Times idea of fact-checking is still a joke though.
But watching this clip from Zelenskyy’s TV show it feels like maybe the joke is on all of us:
I can’t wrap my mind around the existence of this clip.
— Vera Bergengruen (@VeraMBergen)
Mar 2, 2022
People: What do they know? Do they know things?? Let’s find out!
Politico’s Maura Reynolds talked to Trump-embarrasser Fiona Hill about whether Vladimir Putin would be ecstatic or merely thrilled to destroy us all in a nuclear holocaust, and the answer is: “Yes, he would.”
John Mearsheimer got what I would describe as “a productive Chotining” about his claim that US, NATO, and EU foreign policy are ultimately to blame for Putin’s aggression.
And Ben McKenzie (yes that Ben McKenzie, Ryan “mmmm whatcha say” Atwood from “The O.C.”) is writing a book along with Jacob Silverman on what a scam crypto is, and he seems both smart and well informed, so that’s pretty cool.
PUTIN: Should I pursue this campaign against Ukraine?
ORACLE OF DELPHI: Should you send an army against the Ukrainians, you will destroy a great empire.
PUTIN: haha nice
— Djinn & Tonic 🇺🇦 (@HegelwCrmCheese)
Feb 27, 2022
Mike Crumplar reviewed Matthew Gasda's "Dimes Square," starring Intern Bijan and some other people, and all I can say is: more like Mike Grumplar. GMG UNION STRIKES HERB RAT. Bandcamp sold to Epic Games, no one happy. “There is no need to declare the captured Russian tanks and other equipment” as income for Ukrainian tax purposes. The Shorenstein Center’s Technology and Social Change project is “tracking social media takedowns and content moderation during the 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine” and Parker Molloy is “getting a lot of Boss Baby vibes from this war.”
We really be tweeting through it
— No Relation, Esq. (@TheCosby)
Sep 2, 2021
Today’s Song: “Witch” by Apashe (ft. Alina Pash) via this incredible playlist of Ukrainian artists.
~ when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a tab ~